Distressed Signals

I was wondering what to write about tonight. I looked over at a piece of furniture and thought, “Distressed.”  

What an interesting word. It’s a great example of a word that requires the context to get the meaning.

Here are the different definitions from m-w.com:

1. feeling or showing extreme unhappiness or pain

2. not having enough money : experiencing financial trouble

3. used to describe something... that has been made to look old or to look like something that has been used a lot

1 & 2 are self-explanatory, but it’s the third usage that intrigues me. Our bedside table is neither old nor “used a lot.” It just looks that way. It’s been intentionally made to look that way. We even paid extra for that!

Sometimes people are the same way. We like to appear as if we’ve “Been there. Done that.” when the reality is that we are far more insecure than we let on. We don’t want to be shown as not knowing what to do or say—or we don’t want to risk not being loved—so we make ourselves appear a little distressed (in the #3 sense). We fake experience for fear of being exposed.

It reminds me of the Latin phrase “Esse Quam Videri” on the Great Seal of the State of North Carolina. Translated this phrase means, “to be rather than to seem.” I want to be that kind of man. A WYSIWYG kind of person. One who shares life experiences without reservation.

It’s tougher to be that way, because it involves letting our guards down and being vulnerable. It’s more risky. You and I will occasionally get burned. But when we do, it will be the kind of burn mark that is real and gives us genuine character. It gives us the experience through which we learn how to walk beside others. 

“We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (The Message)