29. Laughter and Tears

Dec 17

Dec 17 29. Laughter and Tears

Today is 11 days from the first anniversary of Dad’s passing. I’ve committed to writing 40 stories about him as that day approaches. Forty Steady Stories.

Steady Cash loved to laugh. He loved to make people laugh, but even more, I think he loved someone causing him to laugh. As a kid, I loved watching him get tickled at a movie, on the phone, or reading a letter from a friend. Dad taught me the value of humor well-placed in a conversation. I heard Dad say something one time, and Mom has told me he said it often. He said, “There are three people that make me laugh: Johnny Carson, Bill Crawford, and Chip.” Wow, I can’t deny that I love that he felt that way about me — especially in the company of those two men.

Dad laughed with a lot of friends that he loved and that loved him. As an example, Dad and his friend, Bill, had an ongoing letter writing joust going for 20+ years in which they’d send typed letters with multiple zingers back and forth to each other. I can’t count the times when I’d hear Dad cackling with laughter in his office while reading one of Bill’s letters. Immediately upon finishing, he’d pick up his Dictaphone and say, “Joanne, take a letter to Mr. William Crawford. Dear Sir…” and he’d start throwing zingers right back while looking over the letter from Bill in his hand. They had a deep friendship, and Bill was and is still the finest friend that a man could hope to have in his life. I took the photo above of Dad and Bill at a July 4th event in Blowing Rock in 2017, and it’s a photo I treasure — not only for Dad’s fine choice in hats that day, but for his dear friend serving and loving him by holding an umbrella so Dad wouldn’t get too much sun on his fair skin.

Bill loved and laughed with my dad for over forty years in both their professional and personal lives. And I am SO grateful for the way people like Bill cared for my dad over the years.

I've heard a lot of prayers in my life. I remember two prayers more than any of the others, because the people and the moments were so authentic. Here’s the 2nd one…

I’ll never forget that morning in 1998. Mom and I were alone in the waiting room at CMC Hospital after a very long night. Dad was recovering after some tough surgery for his pituitary tumor and subsequent complications. About 5:30 A.M., Bill Crawford walked in with a gentle smile and a small bag of biscuits. We all hugged and sat, and Mom said, "Y'all I just need us to pray." I think I started first, and Mom followed -- both of us asking God to meet us and Dad in this time of great need. There was a pause. Then Bill said through a cracking voice as he fought back tears, "Dear God, please help my friend Steady, Amen."

When people ask me how to start praying, I tell them this story. Even twenty years later, I cry every single time I tell it. Or type it.