8. Xmas Trees and Tips

Today is 32 days from the first anniversary of Dad’s passing. I’ve committed to writing 40 stories about him as that day approaches. Forty Steady Stories.

The picture above was our Christmas card for 1969. I’m the one holding the axe at age 4 ½, though I’m pretty sure I was not the one who swung the axe that day. However, I am puzzled with why I’m walking in the woods with a bull’s eye target on my chest during deer season.

Nevertheless, it recalls the great post-Thanksgiving tradition of getting the Christmas tree, because that event became a mini course in how to bargain. Dad was in the wholesale plumbing business his entire adult life — with the emphasis on wholesale. In Dad’s internal dictionary, “wholesale” equated to the maximum price he expected to pay. For anything. His definition of “retail” doesn’t require an explanation because it was put into use so infrequently.

Most families went to buy Christmas trees and probably expected to spend at most an hour to pick it out, pay for it, throw it on top of the station wagon, and head for home. I packed a lunch and took a good book to read, because I knew that we’d need 45 minutes just for Dad to conduct the bargaining portion of the transaction — all for a difference of $3-4 back then. It wasn’t the price; it was the principle.

Dad just never paid retail for anything, period. The stories are legendary on this, and I could write all 40 stories about this one category. For instance, I once saw him try to get a discount at a La Quinta in Atlanta, GA using his Blockbuster video membership card. His BLOCKBUSTER card. No kidding. We were down there for inventory at one of the Parnell-Martin branches, and he spent 15 minutes trying to get a discount at La Quinta. The woman finally gave it to him though.

For Dad, bargaining was certainly about saving money, but I think, more than that, he sincerely just enjoyed the whole process with people. He loved the conversations and the cleverness of bargaining and bartering with everyone — whether a good friend, business associate, or someone he’d just met across a La Quinta counter.

Now, allow me to transition to tips. Very early in my life, I was given clear instruction that “T.I.P.S.” stood for “To Insure Prompt Service.” (I’ve since found out that’s an urban legend!) I was also taught that a generous tip was 15% on the pre-tax amount of the service, food, etc. I think that’s the way Dad grew up and that’s what he learned.

Now, I need to say this at this point: Dad and Mom were always extremely generous and strategic in their giving to organizations and people. That said, Dad stuck his heels in on this subject of tips and it was not until some good friends with whom he ate every week gave him such a hard time about it that he finally caved — first to 17% on the pre-tax amount and later the total amount including tax. Then we finally got him to 20%. He made up for it later in life and was often very generous with waitstaff — especially when my brothers and I started signing the checks for him, but I do want to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who waited on him in from 1960 - 1995. And especially to Christmas tree salespeople.

The main reason he changed about tips and softened in bargaining is that I think he began to realize that not everyone had the same breaks he had. He began to see that people sometimes needed grace in the moment. He came to understand that all his resources belonged to God — not just a 10% tithe, but all of it. He saw how much the Lord had taken care of him in all seasons, and he began to pass that on to others.

So, here’s a tip for you this season when you go get your Christmas tree with your people. Have fun saving a few bucks if you can but take care of the people working hard to put food on the family table. It’s been a hard year for a lot of folks.

And if you’ve bought a fake plastic tree just know that I am praying for you. #realtrees